Bağıran İhtiyaçlar

Bugün, küçük çocuğu olan aileler başta olmak üzere, hepimizin sıkça yaşadığı bir ikilemden bahsetmek istiyorum. İstek ve ihtiyaçlarımızla, yapmamız gerekenler arasındaki ikilemde ikinci seçeceği seçme sıklığının neredeyse tüm yaşama yayılması. Sanırım bu bir çeşit kendini kaybetme biçimi. İşler ve talepler o kadar yoğundur ki, hep bir şeyleri ertelemek zorunda kalırsınız. Bir de ihmal edilmeye alışkınsanız çocukluktan, elbetteki ilk erteleyeceğiniz kendiniz olacaksınız.

Birgün kızımın okulunda düzenlenen bir yaz partisine katıldık ailece. Kızımızın okuldaki ilk haftaları ve bizim bu şehirdeki ilk ayımız olduğu için diğer velilerle tanışmak, okulu daha iyi tanımak ve sosyalleşmek istedik bir yandan. Bu aslında yapmamız gerektiğini düşündüğümüz şeydi. Benim kendi adıma asıl ihtiyacım olan ise tek başıma bir ağacın altında oturup belki bir kaç sayfa kitap okumaktı. Gün planlandığı gibi sorunsuz bir şekilde tamamlandığında neden bu kadar gergin ve tahammülsüz olduğumu kendime açıklamak zorunda kaldım tabi. Ne mutsuzluktu bu, ne de yorgunluk. Sadece sürekli hale gelmiş bir kendini ihmal.

Biz yetişkinler, istek ve ihtiyaçlarımızı ertelemeye o kadar alışkınızdır ki çoğu zaman, “Şu an benim neye ihtiyacım var?” diye soran tarafımızın sesi artık duyulamaz olmuştur. Hayatımız bir amaçlar, planlar, davranışlar tablosuna tik atarak sürer gider. İhtiyaçlarımız genellikle yaz tatilleri veya emeklilik yıllarına ertelenir. Ta ki fiziksel ve psikolojik sorunlar yolumuzu kesinceye kadar. Çoğu kez bunu da anlamaz hemen bertaraf edip yolumuza devam etmek isteriz. Oysaki tüm bunlar değişmesi gereken bakış açımızın hatırlatıcı semptomlarıdır çoğu kez.

Kendinize alan açmak yerine, kendine alan açmayı becerebilenlere kızıyor, onların bencil ya da sorumsuz olduklarını düşünüyorsanız tam da açmanız gereken bir kapının eşiğindesiniz demektir. Açın onu!

Açamazsanız benden destek isteyebilirsiniz.

330 hakkında “Bağıran İhtiyaçlar” görüş

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